I hate my life… I know I have a better life than most people around the world that are struggling, but I just don’t like my life at all. Nothing turns out the way I want it to. Its like everything negatively possible has to happen to me. I wish I was never born, in fact. I don’t have many friends. The friends I have, aren’t exactly true friends. I liked this guy for three years and I never told him ( I doubt he ever liked me because he used to go after a ton of pretty, skinny girls). I never told anyone. I wanted to tell my so-called friends, but they would just start to tease me and say he’s way out of my league. It was just my luck, that when I was about to tell him he moved away. I’m fat. I’ve tried to lose weight and I end up right where I started. The main thing that bothers me is the way I look. People at school say I don’t look anything near good. I wish I could block my ears from hearing it, but on the outside I just stare. People tell me I’m just a 13 year old girl and not to get carried away with it. But they don’t understand. Not even my parents understand my life. They just yell at me when my brother and I (who’s 2 years older than me) get into a fight. My brother never helps me with anything. I don’t even like to think he’s my brother. He just tries to make my life as miserable as he can. He picks fights with me and then blames it all on me. If I could wish for an elder brother that I can look up to and a brother that I can rely on, It definitely wouldn’t be him. I’m not athletic (because of my weight) but I try to be as much as I can. And I get picked on for it. People say things like if I run then an earthquake will come. It really hurts me when I hear things like that. I don’t consider myself smart because every time I try hard to ace and exam, it backfires and all my friends get better grades than me. My parents compare me with other people in class and say that I know nothing about studying and that I don’t care about my future. But I really care and try hard. I just wish I could have somebody to talk to or share my feelings with, but I’ve got nobody who truly cares about what I feel. My mom, who I’ve tried to talk to, always says things like: “not right now”, “can’t you see I’m busy”. I really feel depressed every single time I think about my life. My school life is horrible. My life at home is nothing better than compared to school. So, basically I’ve got no REAL friends, no supporting family members and the guy I really opened up to and liked moved away without even saying bye. Every day is the same day for me. Nothing surprising or new happens. I actually thought of just ending my life. Every birthday, I think ” why am I still living?’ If I do something good, no one appreciates me. Not my teachers nor my family. They say “that’s nothing big”. When I look at other people enjoying life to the fullest, I feel so depressed. Why can’t life be easy for me like it is for celebrities and famous people? I just want to die as fast as I can. I feel there’s no point in me living.
Chosen Answer:
You’re thirteen. I’ll be honest with you: being 13 *sucks*. You’re going through puberty, you’re feeling all these crazy emotions, hormones are going haywire–it’s a *really* tough time. Looking back on that time in my life–all I can say is that I’m glad I’m not there anymore. It’s a difficult period of life to go through. Adults know what you’re going through, because we’ve all been there. Trust me when I say things won’t feel this way forever. I know they won’t because I used to feel like you do. But as I got older, things got better.
With that said, there are things you can do to mitigate your situation. First, why not join an online support group? It’s a good way to find people who you can relate to and who will give you support. It’s a good way to make friends too! There are support groups out there for teen girls that you can join. Just Google “online support groups for teen girls” and you should find one. Emotional support is important for everyone, but especially for a girl your age.
Kids who make fun of you are doing it to make themselves feel better. They’re idiots and they’re weak. People who are strong don’t look to knock others down. All you can do is ignore it or learn to stick up for yourself. People are going to walk all over you only if you let them. Don’t let them. I’m not encouraging you to get into fights, but you need to learn to not let people treat you like crap. Whether that means ignoring morons who say mean things to you or telling them off–that’s something you have to figure out.
If nothing surprising or new happens, then you have to make things happen for yourself. Find a hobby. If you like to paint, see if there’s an art club you can join, even if it’s an online art club. Explore things that interest you and that bring you joy. Find things that make you feel *happy*.
Maybe try writing your mom a letter, explaining how you feel. Tell her you *need* her support and that you’re going through a really horrible time right now. If you can’t talk to your mom, do you have an aunt or an older cousin you can talk to? A teacher that you like? If you don’t have anyone like that, then really look into joining an online support group! You don’t have to face things alone.
If you get an allowance, buy yourself a journal and start writing your feelings down. This will help you feel less overwhelmed and act as a stress reliever. If you can’t buy one, start one online. Keep a separate journal where you list positive things about yourself, things you like about yourself. Start out with a list of 3-5 things, even if they’re little things like, “I like my hair color” or “I have nice penmanship” or “I did well on my English test”. Don’t think about any negative attributes while doing this. This is about focusing on the *positives*. You have all the time in the world to focus on the negative. Make this about your *positive* characteristics. Do this everyday. Eventually, it will teach you to focus on the positive about yourself and you’ll start to see more value in yourself. Trust me, it works. It just takes time, so if you do it make sure you stick with it!
Think about exercising–even if you only start out going for a walk for fifteen minutes a day, a couple of times a week. Exercise releases endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers. It’ll help you feel less stressed, less depressed and more centered.
Celebrities don’t have it easy. That’s just what magazines and TV want you to believe. They have problems just like everyone else. We just don’t hear about them–unless it makes for a good article or soundbite on a TV show.
And listen to people when they say things *will* get better. They really will. It’s just going to take time and a bit of effort on your part. When I was 13, I felt suicidal and alone. Now, I’m in my thirties, I have a lot of hobbies that bring me joy, an amazing boyfriend, good friends and a pretty cool job. I never thought I’d be in a good place back when I was the same age as you but things *did* get better, especially once I got out of school. School is such a tiny, inconsequential world even thought it may seem huge right now.
Don’t give up. Things *will* get better, I swear!
by: Applestraw
on: 17th August 13
